Family Roles in an Indian Wedding

Traditionally, Indian weddings are “arranged marriages” and considered to be a wedding between two families rather than two individuals. The parents literally choose the bride or groom for their children. The wedding proposal is usually initiated by one of the parents. The kundlis (horoscope created when a child is born) of the boy and girl are compared by the pundit (a Hindu priest). If the kundlis match, then the proposal proceeds. The girl and the boy meet up and the wedding is fixed if all are okay. But today you will find many youngsters choosing their own life partners.
 
It is normal to have hundreds to thousands of invitees for the wedding. The bride and groom’s parents invite their friends and relatives. There are times when the bride and groom may not know all the invitees. Most of the wedding expenses including the barati (groom’s party) reception, the wedding ceremony and the dinner are borne by the bride’s family. The bride’s parents gift their daughter jewellery which is worn by the bride for the wedding.
 
The mehendi (henna) for the mehendi ceremony is sent by the future mother-in-law of the bride-to-be. The groom’s parents gift the bride with a jewellery set which she wears for the reception after the wedding or the vidaai (going away ceremony). The groom’s family also buys the mangalsutra (marriage necklace). The bride’s family normally gift a gold chain and signet ring to the groom.
 
The bride is dressed by her mother, sisters, cousins and friends on the wedding day. They also bring her to the mandap (designated area where the wedding ceremony will take place) when it is time for the wedding ceremony. The groom’s turban or sehara is blessed by the elders and tied by the groom’s sisters before they leave for the wedding.
 
The groom arrives with his family and friends in a grand procession called the baarat. Traditionally the groom would ride on a decorated horse to his wedding. The groom is accompanied by his younger brother, cousin or nephew on the horse, who is dressed in similar clothes as the groom. Today you see many of the grooms opting for decorated cars to travel to the wedding venue instead of the horse.
 
The baarathi is received by the bride’s family at the entrance of the wedding site with flower garlands. The groom is welcomed by the bride’s mother by performing the aarthi (a traditional welcome ritual with a lamp placed on a plate). The bride’s mother then applies a tilak (a mark with red turmeric powder called kumkum) on the groom’s forehead.
 
During the kanyadan part of the ceremony (giving the daughter away) the bride’s father places her hand in the hands of the groom and declares publicly that he has given his daughter away to the man of her heart.
 
After the wedding ceremony and the dinner, the bride and groom go to the groom’s house where they are welcomed by the groom’s relatives. The groom’s mother welcomes the bride by performing the aarthi.

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